Breath
by Agapanto Blu
Summary: Written before chapter 266 release, so not exactly correct. SPOILER for who follows only the anime: one-shot setted in a time out during Seirin vs Rakuzan match. AKAKURO 'Kuroko did everything he did not for victory, but for Generation of Miracles' sake. He has now only a Titan left, but he's the stronger and the crueler one. And Kuroko knows it well, because he used to love him.'


_Hi!_

_Well, yes, I'm here again, but I changed fandom XD _

_Here we are, so... Can I make a little premise? I LOVE AkashiXKuroko. With my whole heart. They seem so cute, perfect to be togheter, then I'm sorry but I don't think I'll ever see Aomine (he is Kise's, obviously v.v) or Kagami in a good way with our little phantom._

_That said, I HATE the Emperor, better knows as Akashi's other personality, the disagreeable and victory addicted and with very big socialization problems (please, seriously, the scissors?!) one. I can appreciate some flashes of this personality, but only in minuscule amounts and only as long as he keeps his dirty paws off of my little, sweet and lovely Tetsu. Plus, I'm deeply certain that, if only the Emperor didn't surface, Akashi and Kuroko would have stood togheter, period._

_After all my heart shaped eyed fangirl ideas, as you guessed this story implies an AkaKuro relationship during the Teiko period and is to be seen as setted quite near chapter 260 of the manga (can it be?, I didn't check it so I'm not sure...) a little before (SPOILER TO WHO HAS NOT READ THE LAST CHAPETERS YET) Kuroko and Kagami begin blocking Akashi using the Quite Emperor Eyes of Kuroko (how much do I love this guy?!).  
_

_As always, thanks to everyone who has the patience to read (the story, yes, but moreover who has the strenght to read even the whole notes, congrats!) and see you soon!_

_Bye bye, __Agapanto Blu_

* * *

**Breath**

_Breath._

And I do it. I breath once more, with my lugs collapsing into my chest like gelatinous molasses, without any support.

I knew you were strong, I always knew, but I didn't think even to this point.

I detached my hands from my knees and I straighten again, right on my feet despite my hands and legs trembling. There are few minutes left to the end of the last quarter, I can't hand over now, with all the others giving their best.

I space with my gaze on the basket court, so yellow that it hurts the eyes under the spotlights which make it shine like the sun, and so I barely notice Izuki and Kyioshi, the first talking with the coach and the second hidden behind Eikichi Nebuya's muscles mass. Then my sight gets lost when I try to find Kagami and instead I meet an half-ruby and half-topaz gaze.

_Akashi._

You stare at me as if you well know that, in the end, this is a battle of me against you.

But if I feel the emotions –rage, disappointment, determination–, which you taught me so well to hide, breaking my will to surface on my visage, yours is cold and indolent, careless of me in a way the _real _Seijuro would have never been.

_**I see nothing in your eyes,**_

_**and the more I see the less I like.**_

_**Is it over yet, in my head?**_

No, it's not over yet between us and you know this, but you don't care. You don't think I'm a danger, as long as Seijuro is mute, into the silent jail of his own mind, and leaves you to face the expectations his family put –_forced_– on him.

The first time I noticed what the consequences were, to Akashi-kun, for being less than perfect, it was shocking.

_Akashi is the guy with red hair who taught me to be a shadow, he is the Generation of Miracles' captain, the best player I've ever seen included Aomine. Then, why is he sat on the ground, in the middle of the night, into the locker room, with the knees into his arms?, why is he trembling and sobbing like a child?, why is he scared and has not a place to come back to?_

_Because he was less than perfect, nobody came to pick him up this morning. He's not allowed to bring money with him, his family don't want him to risk to be pick-pocketed, and his house is out of town. Even if he made those kilometres and reached for the gate after who knows how many hours, he knows it wouldn't be opened for him._

_Because he was less than perfect, today he's no more an Akashi._

"_T-Tetsuya…then what am I?" he whispers against my shoulder while I, knelt on the ground in front of him, hug his figure with the whole strength this thin arms of mine have._

_I don't hesitate._

"_You're Seijuro." I say, "And you can sleep at my place every time you want."_

I stiffen when Akashi leaves his position of Kagami's marker to come to me, taking advantage of the technical time-out called by the referee when our number ten slammed again his head against the basket, despite we all believed he had finally learned to control his strength. I don't know what the Rakuzan captain wants from me, but I'm quite sure I'm not even interested in hearing it.

This is not my friend, he's not the guy I know. This is the Emperor, this is the Akashi from who Seijuro let himself being suffocated just to not disappoint his family by being defeated by Murasakibara, a rebellious subordinate. This is a merciless monster that I don't know nor I'm interested in knowing. And I'm scared he's something I can't stop.

_**I know nothing of your kind,**_

_**and I won't reveal your evil mind.**_

_**Is it over yet? I can't win.**_

I shook my head, cursing myself on my own. I won't stop in this way, I can't surrender now. Seijuro wouldn't have done it, to me.

_I hug him closer and lay my chin on his shoulder, so that he can't see my blushing face and my bright eyes. His exhausted body falls abandoned on mine while we both pant, and not because of a basket training._

_How much is it that it goes this way? At least three months. My parents know it, they're happy for me and love Seijuro like a son. Akashi's family don't have even just an idea and must never have, so not even the rest of the Generation of Miracles knows about us. Maybe only Midorima had noticed something, but he's too polite to reveal our lie._

"_Tetsuya…" he murmures._

"_Akashi-kun?" I ask, confused._

_His body trembles when he laughs._

"_Will you ever call me by my first name?"_

_I shrug, but I need to strive to not smile._

"_Who knows…"_

And now I'd absolutely call him by his first name, even a thousand or two thousands times, but he's no more here. He's inside that head, curled on himself like child, scared, and the Emperor abuses his body and his look to be what the Akashi family wants him to be. What Seijuro would have never wanted to become, but that Murasakibara accidentally awakened.

"One last time, Tetsuya."

I jerk, coming back with my mind to the court, when Akahi's voice calls me. I met his eyes and I have no idea of what he's speaking about, but everyone is staring at us now, because there's something in the Emperor's face which is making me trembling a little more.

"What?" I ask.

The Emperor smiles, massacring _his_ face in an evilly happy expression.

"One last time, Tetsuya…" he comes so near that our chests are quite touching, he bend his trunk forward coming with his face near mine like when he was hugging me in my bed and he brings his lips near my ear so that only I can hear him. I have a shiver, not for fear, even if I know that this is his more dangerous personality. And I, more than everybody else, know how much. "One last time, _sacrifice yourself for me._"

_**So sacrifice yourself**_

_**and let me have what's left.**_

_**I know that I can find **_

_**the fire in your eyes. **_

_**I'm going all the way:**_

_**get away, please.**_

My eyes widened, but the Emperor doesn't stop.

"How many times did you do it, Tetsuya? How many times did you put me above everything else? You accepted to live in the shadow, to be forgotten by everyone, to become invisible to the world's eyes to the point that people don't even remember your existence…just for me, because I asked you to do it, because I needed a shadow to bring out our lights. How many times did you stay in the gym even for hours, after the practice end, waiting for me to finish what I had to do and to come to you? And then the nights in which you shared your bed with me choosing the part near the window even knowing that the dawn light would have awakened you at six in the morning, the sheets remaining with your legs naked when I moved in my sleep, _your body _allowing me to be the one who always decide how, where and when… You sacrificed yourself for me so many times, you can do it just once more, can't you?"

I forced myself to not show any feeling, notwithstanding I'm feeling like I was dying. It's not because of the gazes on us, it's not that which hurts me, but the fact that the Emperor took even this, the moments and the secrets and the emotions which should have been only mine and Seijuro's.

"Do it for me once more…" he whispers in my ear, opening his mouth and articulating the words so much that his lips and his tongue touch my earlobe at each word, making me stiffen because of the disgust. This is not Seijuro. "_Lose._"

_**You take the breath right out of me.**_

_**You left a hole where my heart should be.**_

_**You've got to fight just to make it through,**_

'_**cause I will be the death of you.**_

"Never."

My answer is immediate, my hands clenched in fists, and the Emperor steps back for a moment to look me better in the face, bending a bit his head to a side as if confused by what I said.

"What?" he asks.

"Never." I repeat, staring at him with harshness, "All those thing, I did them for Akashi-kun and he would have never asked me something like this. So, never."

The Emperor's eyes thin, his blood and gold coloured gaze pierced me, wounding and killing me, but I don't step back. I can't. I love Seijuro too much to do it.

"I grant you" his voice is cold, "one last chance to renege this insolent answer. You don't want me to get angry, do you Tetsuya?"

A part of me, the one paralyzed by my first real fight with the Emperor, after Akashi-kun's disappearance, trembles in fear, but I don't want him to notice it.

The pain I felt that time is a clear memory locked into my mind.

_**This will be all over soon. **_

_**Pour salt into the open wound. **_

_**Is it over yet? Let me in.**_

"_Stop it, stop it, stop it! Akashi, stop it! I'm not sure about what's going on, but you must stop behave in this way!"_

_The Emperor looks with disappointment at the hand I'm wrapping around his forearm, but he doesn't move. I dragged him out of the gym when I realizes only Midorima and I were present to the practice. Nay, when I realized only Midorima and I were present to the practice and Akashi forbade me from searching for Aomine to force him to come with us._

"_I don't understand what you're speaking about…" he comments, unstressed._

"_You can't let the team falling in pieces like this!" I oppose, shaking my head, "You can't do it!"_

_He sighs and went away._

_An abrupt gesture and I lose the grip on his body. I blink once and my back runs against the wall of the alley near the gym. Akashi's hands hold my wrists blocking them to my head sides and his eyes stare at me with rage._

"_Nobody has the right to tell me what I can or can't do." he hisses, then he brings his face near mine, "Let alone my slut."_

_**So sacrifice yourself, **_

_**and let me have what's left. **_

_**I know that I can find **_

_**the fire in your eyes. **_

_**I'm going all the way, **_

_**get away, please.**_

_A part of me, dies in that moment, with that sentence._

_Another, realizes that there's something deeply wrong in the all of this._

_My wrists hurt, Akashi's grip is really too much strong, and after a moment I lose our glances fight because the pain makes me close the eyes and a moan escapes from my lips because of the pain._

_Akashi smiles._

"_I love to hear you moaning…" he says._

_**You take the breath right out of me. **_

_**You left a hole where my heart should be. **_

_**You got to fight just to make it through, **_

'_**cause I will be the death of you.**_

I shake my head, coming back to the present for no other reason than running away from the memory of those terrible minutes which had followed and from the idea, even worst, of what could have happened if Midorima hadn't came out to look for Akashi. When I came home, that evening, I had an enormous bruise on my left cheek and purplish circles around my wrists; I was trembling and there were tears in my eyes. Only in that moment, I had understood that the one I had in front of me was not anymore the Akashi I used to know. Or maybe I had simply accepted it, because a part of me realized it long before. And it hurt as hell, inside, in the deep, where is was darker and the sense of betrayal could better stab in the back, aiming for the weaknesses, there were I was frailer. After hurting Ogiwara I had disappointed Akashi and it all was simply…too much.

I escaped my parents' questions begging for mercy at least from them, I locked myself in my room, sleep hugging the pillow Akashi always used to have when he slept to my place and in the morning I let my mother cover the purple on my face with her foundation cream. I noticed coldly that my pale and dim skin was of her same tone, but it didn't seem to shine as the her, she who seemed to be a star fallen on the Earth just by mistake. That morning, I went to the gym, took my stuff from my locker and gave the bag with the team equipment to the coach.

The Winter Cup was already finished, he didn't even asked me why I was giving up when there was just a few left since the very end. No one of the Generation of Miracles' guys noticed what I did since the last day, nobody except Akashi but neither him came to tell me something.

_-Once you proved yourself useless, Teiko leaves you behind with no regrets.-_ was a sort of corridor maxim which was said in the school. I truly understood it only that day.

_**I'm waiting,**_

_**I'm praying,**_

_**realize,**_

_**start hating.**_

I stare again at the Akashi I have in front of me now and his eyes are so cold that for a moment I fear again his hands against my face, even knowing that he could never slap me in front of everyone since we're on the court.

But he, surprisingly, smiles. In a way that scares me.

"You know I don't care what you want, don't you?" he asks with the voice always low, velvety, "If you won't lose of your own volition, it will the same be me who destroys you."

I clench my fists.

"This is still to be seen." I instinctively retort.

Seijuro shakes his head and turns, coming back to his half of the court as if nothing happened. I stand still staring at him as he leaves.

"Ohi, Kuroko," Kagami's voice comes to me as if from a deep abyss, but it manages to reach me enough to make my head turn toward him, who is in turn staring at Akashi's back, "what did he want?"

A bitter smile tries to take my lips, but my face is already used to suppress these movements moved by feelings.

"Usual things of Generation of Miracles." I answer, not lying but omitting a part of the truth, "He said he will defeat us."

Kagami smiles, in his quite evil way of when he finds himself against an opponent who's amazing _and_ arrogant enough to make him mad to win.

"They all forget you too are one of them, don't they?" he jokes, then he straightens a fist toward me, "Let's go remind them that even we have our little slice of miracle."

I barely smile, I deign myself of it, then I bump the fist against his and nod once in turn, stubborn.

_Akashi Emperor, I'll take Seijuro back, no matter what it costs._

_**You take the breath right out of me. **_

_**You left a hole where my heart should be. **_

_**You got to fight just to make it through, **_

'_**cause I will be the death of you.**_

* * *

_Song of the story: "Breath" by Breaking Benjamin._


End file.
